1 My grandmother praised the deep silence of winter: drug deals forced indoors.
2 No summer drive-bys or innocent neighbors lost to dull black semis.
3 We live on a block of ten row houses, can hear every goddamn sound.
4 Eight in the morning. My boots should crunch snow instead of pink topped crack vials.
5 Hey, yo, curly top! You gotta sister? Bet she’ll gimme some fine trim.
6 Grandma prays for me to fail the ghetto before puberty begins.
7 Damon approaches me. Asks if I want to make a large roll of cash.
8 Christmas Eve. Best friend shot dead. Closed casket. Barely a face left on him.
9 Morning, purple sky. Two drug dealers escort Mom to the train station.
10 Damon slams me up against a brick wall. Whispers he likes boys my size.
11 Boy, you betta get your hide home. Your Grandmama worried sick ‘bout you.
12
Grandma delivers plates of ackee and codfish to every drug house.
13 Spark of a fired gun in cold night air. Damon holds my trembling right hand.
14 Grandpa spends every winter with his lover in Providencia.
15 Neighbors wonder why we’ve never been robbed, even though Grandpa’s not here.
16 Undercover cop busts Damon. Twenty to life, that’s the word at church.
17 She dreams he takes his woman to secret islands deep beneath the sea.
18 Grandma holds a lunch. Tells neighbors to befriend those kids they fear the most.
19 The blare of sirens, helicopter high above. Sounds I heard all night.
Sean Frederick Forbes is the editor of 2Leaf Press’ “2LP Explorations In Diversity” series, which explores the past, present and future of diversity and inclusivity in America. He is the co-editor of the series’ first book, WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE WHITE IN AMERICA? Breaking the White Code of Silence, A Collection of Personal Narratives (2016), the co-editor for the series’ second book The Beiging of America: Personal Narratives About Being Mixed Race in the 21st Century (forthcoming June 2017), and the poetry collection Providencia (2013). His work has appeared in various journals including Chagrin River Review, Crab Orchard Review, Long River Review, Midwest Quarterly, and Sargasso: A Journal of Caribbean Literature, Language and Culture. He teaches creative writing and poetry, and is the director of the creative writing program at the University of Connecticut.